


Troublemaker

by zoe19blink



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, Funny, Gen, Hook and Ruby's kid is a hot mess and it's adorable, Humor, M/M, Multi, Parent-Child Relationship, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-11 21:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7070854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoe19blink/pseuds/zoe19blink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sneak peek of ANOTHER fic that is going to be much larger: basically, my favorite ships and the next generation--their kids, going through childhood and adolescence together. Shameless fluff, but I live and breathe for this stuff. We're going to have Swanfire, Captain Wolf, Brave Warrior, Frankenhunter, and Cricket Beauty. Non-magic verse, extremely AU, but adorable.<br/>This sneak peek is Captain Wolf, dealing with their six-year-old disaster Jake (an OC I created, because I don't like the idea of Ruby naming her son after one of her past boyfriends).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Troublemaker

 

 

“Dad?” A sticky hand pawed at his face, slapping it lightly. “Dad, are you up?”

“Jake…” Killian complained, pulling his son’s hand away. “Go back to bed, son. It’s late.”

“I can’t,” the boy whispered anxiously. “There’s a monster. It’s in my closet. I heard him.”

“Mum’s much better at dealing with monsters than me, go ask her.” Killian buried his face in the pillow as Jake’s bare feet pattered to the other side of the bed.

“Mom? Mom, there’s a monster in my closet.”

“No, there’s not, baby,” Ruby murmured, her voice muffled under the covers. 

“Yes, there _is,_ ” Jake insisted. “He’s in there!”

“Ask Dad.”

“He told me to ask you!”

“You’re much better at dealing with monsters, darling,” Killian yawned. 

“I have to be at the diner by five to sign for everything, Kil. You’re going to have to take this one.”

“I can’t, it’s the middle of the night.”

“Well, _someone’s_ going to have to take this one!” Jake said wildly. “I don’t know how to fight monsters, I’m only six! Dad, _please!”_

“Kil,” Ruby warned through her teeth.

“I’m going, I’m going…”

Jake shifted on his feet, anxiously twisting his shirt as he waited for Killian to drag himself out of bed. “Are you going to be able to fight him like that?” he whispered. “Do you need a coffee or something first?”

“Just—” Killian gave his head an exasperated little shake—“I’ll be fine, son. Don’t worry about it.”

Jake bit his lip, looking unconvinced, but relented with a soft, “Okay.” He held out his hand (still sticky with what felt suspiciously like jam, though what Jake was doing with jam at two in the morning was beyond him), which Killian took obediently.

“He’s in the closet,” Jake whispered over his shoulder, leading him down the hall. “He’s probably still gidesting the last kid—”

“I think you mean, _digesting,_ and where in the name of God did you get such a morbid imagination?”

“It’s not _me._ Charley says, her dad says, that when kids are bad, flesh-eating monsters sneak into their closets and eat them when their parents are asleep.”

Killian stopped, raising a suspicious eyebrow at him. “When kids are _bad,_ ” he repeated. “That’s when the monsters come.”

“Yeah,” Jake nodded. “Charley’s dad—”

“Is a wealth of information, I’m sure. Jake—” he knelt down, peering at his son sternly—“what makes you think you’re going to have monsters in your closet, eh? It’s not as though you’ve been bad?”

“Is this really the time?” Jake hissed. “I’m about to be _eaten!”_

 _“_ Jacob Lucas-Jones, do _not_ force me to wake your mother up. What did you do?”

“Nothing! I don’t even know how to use the lawn mower! It started all by itself— _I think this house is haunted!”_

Killian’s eyes widened. “ _Lawn mower?_ ”

“Again, the timing—”

“What the hell were you doing with the lawn mower?”

Jake grabbed him by the collar, staring at him with panic-filled eyes. “Do you understand I have a _monster situation_ right now?” he demanded in an urgent whisper. “ _I am going to be eaten!”_

“How did you even get it to start?” Killian said bewilderedly. “I hid the keys from you! I put them on the top shelf! How did you _get_ them!”

“I didn’t,” Jake wailed. “Charley hot-wired it—”

“ _Charley._ ” Killian closed his eyes, exhaling. If there was one child in this town who could hot-wire a lawn mower, _of course_ it was Neal Cassidy’s. “Why was Charley hot-wiring our lawn mower?”

“Because Cassie Dunbroch’s got a car,” Jake said miserably, dropping his hands. 

Killian lifted an eyebrow, but Jake seemed to think “ _Cassie Dunbroch’s got a car_ ” was sufficient explanation. “And what does Cassie have to do with this?”

“We wanted to race,” Jake shrugged. He chanced a glance at him, toying with a loose string around his sleeve. “Maybe if _I_ had a car…I know, I’ve had my eye on this little Jeep—”

“Jacob.”

“Okay. I got it. Read the room, bad timing, I understand.”

“What happened?” Killian asked through his teeth. “What did you break? Who did you kill?”

“Just the lawn mower. Everyone’s fine, but…the lawn mower, it…it didn't make it.”

“The lawn mower didn't make it.”

Jake shook his head sorrowfully.

Killian studied him with narrowed eyes, trying to decipher how much was genuine regret and how much was a theatrical attempt to glean some mercy. “Where _is_ the lawn mower?”

“It’s…” Jake bit his lip. “I can’t, I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“If you don’t tell me, I’m going to assume there’s a body buried with it. I’m legally obligated to notify the authorities if I suspect foul play.” He paused, sensing that this was not enough to frighten Jake into confessing. “And, of course, I’ll have to tell Mum.”

Jake snapped his head up fearfully. “You can’t!” he begged. “She’ll kill me! You’ll never see me again, I’ll be _dead!”_

“You’ve already got that monster in your closet,” Killian reminded him seriously. “If I can protect you from him, I might be able to protect you from your mother.”

“Really?”

“Really. But you have to tell me: _what happened to the lawn mower?_ ”

Jake twisted the hem of his shirt, his eyes darting around the room. “The docks,” he said in a small voice. “It’s at the docks.”

Killian stared at him incredulously. “You drove a lawn mower all the way to the _docks?_ On the other side of town?”

“It’s actually… _beneath_ the docks…?”

“JACOB LUCAS-JONES, YOU DROVE A LAWN MOWER INTO THE BLOODY _OCEAN?_ ”

“HE DID _WHAT?_ ”

Killian and Jake whirled around as a bedraggled, wide-eyed Ruby stumbled into the hall, staring at them in horror. Jake immediately tried to scurry away, but Killian grabbed the back of his shirt, pointing at him. 

“Your son drove a lawn mower off the docks, after getting Charley Cassidy to hot-wire it for him!”

Ruby turned her furious gaze onto her son. “ _Jake!”_  

“Mom, I’m—”

“What is _wrong_ with you?” she shouted. “You could have been hurt—you could have been killed! _Do you know how much trouble you’re in, young man?”_

“A lot?” Jake ventured.

“And you!” Ruby glared at Killian, pounding forward to whack him upside the head. “This is your fault!”

“ _Me?_ What did I—? Bloody hell, stop hitting me!”

“Why weren't you watching him?” she demanded. “He’s _six!_ He can’t be left alone, are you insane?”

“Yeah, come on, Dad!” Jake snapped. “I can’t be left alone! What’s wrong with you?”

“Stay out of this, Jake!” they ordered in unison. Jake dropped his head, taking a few careful steps back and muttering something about, “I think I’ll just keep my mouth shut now.”

“You could have been _killed!”_ Ruby repeated furiously.

“Do you know how dangerous that was?” Killian demanded.

“Driving a _lawn mower—_ ”

“—into the bloody _ocean!”_

“You can’t drive, Jake! You’re—”

“—six years old! You can’t even see over the wheel! And—”

“—you are _grounded,_ young man! No video games—”

“—no T.V.—”

“—no _Charley—”_

“—or Cassie—”

“—nothing but homework—”

“—and chores—”

“—for a _month!”_

Jake looked between them, shoulders dropping helplessly. “But—but that’s not _fair!”_ he protested. “I wasn't the only one—”

“Rest assured, we’ll be notifying Charley’s and Cassie’s parents at a more reasonable hour,” Killian said icily. “In the meantime, you just get back to bed and pray that monster doesn't get you.”

Jake turned white, but was willing to take his chances with the child-munching monster than his parents: he fled down the hall, bare feet slapping the floor with the kind of frantic energy only a child is capable of. Killian slowly rose from his knees, grimacing after his little vandal. 

“Driving a lawn mower into the ocean,” he muttered. “And he’s only _six._ Can you imagine when he’s a teenager?”

Ruby closed her eyes with a groan, dropping her head on his shoulder. “I blame you for this,” she said in a muffled voice. 

“Me?” Killian scoffed. “He’s _your_ son.”

Ruby thwacked him. “ _You_ knocked me up,” she accused.

“I did, but y _ou_ got me drunk.”

“And _you_ swore you could hold your liquor,” she reminded him. “That was a lie.”

“I was nervous,” he grinned. “I didn't know what I was saying. I had the most beautiful girl in the world standing in front of me—I’m lucky I didn't pass out.”

Ruby smiled tiredly. “You’re cute, but it’s too early for this.” She took his hand, pulling him after  her with a sigh. “ _Way_ too early.”

“Yet you seem to be leading me back to our bedroom _awfully_ fast,” he observed. 

“Mmm, well…you’ve persuaded me to make bad decisions before, haven't you?” she returned slyly. “After all, that’s what got us into _that_ mess in the first place…”

They stopped, turning around to glance at Jake’s door; listening to the soft whimpering of their drama-queen of a son behind it. Ruby shifted her eyes to the side, raising an eyebrow at Killian. 

“On second thought…bed?”

“Bed,” he nodded. “Let’s keep Jake an only child.”


End file.
